Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
