Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
