Me too!
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Randomize
