I'm really into asian looking animals
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
