Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
