He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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