so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
