Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
