Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
