fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
