if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
