Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
