I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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