My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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