His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
