And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
