I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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