conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
