hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
