I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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