don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Just took my morning after pill in the library
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
