FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
