i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
