About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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