And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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