and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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