i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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