Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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