great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
