this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
