Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
