hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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