His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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