grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
