the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
