last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
