We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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