She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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