I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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