I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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