I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
