Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You took a bar mat shot.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
