Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Randomize
