i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
