just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize