i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
