You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
