OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
