i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
