I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
