I wanna passion pit in your ass
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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