I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
