I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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