the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just pynch a tree in the face
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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