Operation Purity has been aborted
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
cat food counts as protein by the way
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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