The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize