Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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