Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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