why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
