The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
