there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
