I wish my penis had an off switch
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Randomize
