***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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