I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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