she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sext me about skeletons
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
