All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
