The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
