she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
His nipple licking is glorious
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