I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
