you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
