Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
